Top Heavy

I am now gaining weight, and, considering that this is my 2nd trimester, a disproportionately large part of it went straight into my boobs. Thanksgiving weekend I already caught myself bending over forward, from waist up. I had to readjust myself. A couple of days ago I had to do it again.

Earlier this week I was exiting the underground BART station. My bladder felt a bit full, so I was hurried. I was claiming the stairs, leaning forward. When I finished claiming I gathered enough momentum to pull me forward. I tried to balance; I waived my arms in the air; I did it again and again. Then I realized that no matter what I do, I am going to fall, and that it’s only the matter of how I’m going to fall. I chose to land on my hands and knees. I was quite a spectacle, I suppose, because I gathered a crowd of about a half a dozen people around me.

They were all asking if I’m OK. I said that yes, I am OK, but, given that I’m pregnant, I don’t know what is going to happen now. Really, is my uterus going to turn into a bloody mess? Is my baby going to go into shock? Is he going to be born prematurely? Is he going to be deformed? A very nice old matron reassured me: “You won’t believe how tough they are”. She said she fell off entire hill when she was pregnant, and her baby was just fine.

Then I thought about my mother who fell on her stomach when she was nine months pregnant with me. Some of you, dear readers, may argue that this detail may explain certain things…

…My mother fell while being pregnant in Ukraine. There is a law in Ukraine that all sidewalks must be slippery at all times. The law has nothing to do with Communism and everything to do with Ukraine. My mother went back early this year. Apparently some people in my native city of Kharkov have some money to throw around, and some of this money went into maintenance and beautification of the city. They now put marble on the floors of the stores and marble on the sidewalks, which made walking twice as dangerous as it was in the Soviet days. My mother almost fell, but Ukrainian ladies age 14 through 65 walk in their stiletto boots on slippery sidewalks and appear to be OK. These Ukrainian ladies in their fancy boots are quite a site because all the streets in the city are not only slippery, but untidy as well. There is another law in Ukraine that mandates that snow is not to be removed from the streets at any times. Because Ukrainian winters are mild, the snow inevitably thaws about an hour after it falls. Ukrainian shopkeepers and restaurateurs are not into cleaning their property too often. So the ladies walk around ankle high in dirt.

Anyhow, my mother didn’t fall because she was unable to balance; I did. The fact that I’m only at week 17 was a bit too freakish to handle. Matrons at work reassured me that when I will continue putting on weight, the weight will go in my midsection, restoring the balance. Nevertheless I felt compelled to act. I unearthed flat boots, and I went to a yoga class the next day. It helped. I have a wider base now and I can straighten my spine better and balance easier.

Unfortunately this is not a victory story. I got bruises on my hands, and the skin on my right knee came off. My wounds are healing superslow, no doubt due to some sort of pregnancy-related shift in healing powers.

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December 9, 2006. Breedosaurus.

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