The Monster in My Belly

Last weekend was my dad’s Birthday.  Obeying my dad’s wishes all five of us (me, my husband, my mom, my dad and my baby) went to Cambria and Hearst Castle. 

We stayed in a nice inn in Cambria and had the most delicious dinner in restaurant called Black Cat.  I’m sure my baby got the best of my dinner.  She gets to feed first I hear.

Next day we went on an hour-hour and a half tour of Hearst Castle.  I did well.  Our tour guide was also pregnant.  Poor thing; she has to be on her feet all day.  I now notice pregnant women, and pregnant women notice me.  We eye each other’s bellies, trying to figure out how far along we are and how we are doing in comparison.

On the way back we drove up Highway 1 through Big Sure.  That was a bit tiring, but beautiful.

Anyhow, that night lying down on my inn bed in sleepy Cambria I told my husband that once we are old, and our children are out of the house we can travel the country and stay in cozy inns, and eat in posh restaurants.  He was focused on more immediate future.  While the kids are young we can go to D.C., he said.  Neither one of us have been to D.C.  I agreed.  We can also go to national parks, and the Disneyland, of course.  Given that one set of grandparents lives in L.A. and two sets of cousins are in San Diego, we don’t need to plan vacations on the beach.  That will take care of itself, thank G-d.

When the baby got active, I let him touch my belly.  The baby terrified him: Is it normal for the baby to move around so much and with such force?  I suggested that once the baby is finally born it would probably be ready to join the circus.  It will get plenty of practice.  Perhaps it can become a trapeze artist.  Other parents give their newborns to doctors for testing, but we, we can give ours to the clowns.

Sometimes the baby terrifies me as well.  For one thing it’s getting huge, and it’s getting stronger and stronger every day.  By Tuesday she was able to reach my ribcage, and it punches my ribcage with what I think are its feet.  All of a sudden her signs of life are not funny anymore.  Luckily most of the time she’s not interested in kicking my ribcage.  She prefers to lie diagonally, head down and facing the world rather then my spine.  From time to time she turns into the correct birth position, though.  I figured that when a while ago she attacked my OBGyn, she attacked her with her with her then tiny head, btw.  She attacked me with her head once, sort of.  I was lying in bed and wanted to turn around.  I guess I turned too sharply, so her head punched my uterus.  Ouch!

One way to keep the baby from punching me is to avoid sharp turns and keep upright.  See, she can only reach my ribcage when I don’t keep my back straight.  Actually NOT keeping my back straight is becoming quite difficult.  My stomach is getting humongous, and it’s getting in a way.  I no longer can reach out and grab things, I can’t bend over, and stretching is problematic.  I am very erect now.

Not unlike my daughter, my stomach scares me.  I am yet to see any stretch marks, but it’s growing like popcorn.  Just how big does it think it’s going to get?  My matronly co-workers told me that my face is getting fuller.  According to them it looks good.  One of them said that it looks like my rear is getting bigger as well.   Thank you dear matronly coworkers.

I’m glad my husband is going away for a couple of weeks during my 8th month.  He doesn’t need to watch me getting humongous.


February 17, 2007. Breedosaurus.

Leave a Comment

Be the first to comment!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Trackback URI

%d bloggers like this: