I Am a Giant Walking Uterus

I am becoming a giant walking uterus.  “Giant” is one way to describe my stomach.  For some reason it’s triangle-shaped.  Old wives tell me that it means that I’m having a boy.  I am also supposed to be carrying a boy because I’m carrying my baby kind of high.  Sonographer, of course, begs to differ.

I’m not ready for a boy anyways.  We have a girl name picked out.  Although I mostly invested in gender-neutral outfits, I just had to buy some baby girl onesizes.  For instance, I found one black outfit with a kitten face with and crossbones on it.  Then there is another black outfit with pink leopard cuffs and a word “Diva” embodied in the chest area. 

Back to my stomach, I don’t know what is going to happen in the coming months.  I have two months and twelve days to go.  I know I’m not supposed to grow much during the last month, which leaves me with one month and twelve days of rapid grows. Can I possibly get any bigger and how am I going to fit into my maternity clothes?

I can’t say I’m putting on much fat.  My face is a bit fuller, I guess.  My husband seems to be oblivious to it, and everyone else says that it doesn’t look too bad on me.

My legs are much stronger, though, and so is my butt.  No wonder – they have to carry my monstrous abdomen!  I told my mom that I’m getting stronger now, and she seemed to be pleased with this development.  She told me that once I have the baby, my upper body will get toned.  “Oh yeah, — I said, — I will have to roll the stroller.”  My mom is generally amused by the amount of care and attention I am devoting to the weight of our future stroller.  “Stroller? – She said. – You’ll be picking up and carrying your baby.”


March 3, 2007. Breedosaurus.

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