More About Waiting

I can’t believe that at some point I was 10, 15 or even 20 weeks pregnant.  How did I deal with all that waiting?  Did I think too much?  Did I begin to doubt myself?  The answer is: Yes.

Am I ready?  Will I be a good mom?

There is a theory that human babies are born prematurely, and that they need another three months in mother’s womb to develop.  But because of bipedalism the hips of a human female are too narrow thus forcing the newborns to pop out ahead of time.  You know what, I’m glad that our hips are too narrow, and not just for aesthetic reasons.  I don’t think I could handle another three months of waiting.  I was ready as soon as I was done with morning sickness.  Naturally I didn’t want to have my baby when I was queasy and all. 

But now that I did all this waiting and I did all the doubting, now that I have 11 weeks left I am a bit scared.  I am not scared of childbirth, at least not yet.  I am scared of not being prepared.  Thank you, Mother Nature.

My husband put together our bassinette – who knew what a bassinette was a half a year ago?  And it hangs out there in our bedroom reminding us of baby’s impeding arrival.  We are shopping for car seats and strollers.  Once he’s gone – and I want him to install the car seat before he leaves – my mom and me will buy other, smaller, necessities.   

When she’s here I’ll probably start to freak out for real.  All would be well if I wouldn’t have to hang there waiting for an extra half a year, developing a mild case of prenatal neurosis.

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March 4, 2007. Breedosaurus.

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