The Moment of Truth is Coming

So this midwife told me that I should give birth within two weeks.  As I mentioned before, I knew that the previous calculations of conception time were a bit off and that probably the baby is due a little earlier.

Still, I have to admit I am scared to hear that there is one week less to go.  I am afraid of pain, but I also know that there are relatively benign options, like epidural that will help to alleviate at least most of it.  That’s reassuring.  What I fear the most, I guess is my body opening up so much that I will be able to pass a whole baby.  Freaky!  If I am to be honest with myself, I will admit that I’m afraid of the changes that come with the baby, but I am at the point in my life where I need to make choices.  Do I want to have a family, or do I want to spend the rest of my time on this Earth shopping and hanging out looking cool? 

What I am really afraid of is the unknown.  What is this pain that is like no other pain I’ve experienced so far?  I know these women on birth videos opened up to pass the baby, but am I really going to do the same?  Will my body ever assume its pre-pregnancy shape?  Most importantly, am I a mommy material?

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April 23, 2007. Breedosaurus, Random thoughts.

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