Whatever Happened to my Birth Story

I, reasonably sleep-deprived mother, set out to type it several days ago. My little darling was sleeping peacefully in her very own Consumer Reports-approved infant car seat right next to me. I had this wonderful idea for relaying the circumstances of her grand entrance. It was to develop into an edgy hilarity.

Each second of typing was to be utilized to its fullest, especially after the said little darling started straining soon after I embarked on my endeavor. First, she strained and fussed in her sleep, and then she awoke and strained for a while. Before I know it, it was time to change the diaper. I took her to her changing table, and she fussed on the way there. I started changing her, and she felt obligated, as she often does, to poop and to pee along the way. I cleaned, and I changed, and she cried her bitter tears. She cried especially bitter tears when I was about done. She knows from experience that some of her diaper changes are not followed by feedings, which from time to time makes her feel cheated. So I had to feed her. Then mommy had to replenish her energy. Then we had to take advantage of the sunny weather and went out for a stroll. Then we came home and after a short interlude for another mommy snack my reasonably sleep-deprived husband returned from work. We had dinner. And when afterwards I resigned myself to another feeding, he found his way to the computer.

When he was done, he asked me where I want my documents saved, and after I explained, said: “Oh, I accidentally didn’t save them.”

It was all my fault by the way because, I a sleep-deprived mother didn’t save it.


June 20, 2007. Breedosaurus.

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