Mothering is a one giant heartbreak. When my daughter was born we had to feed her every two hours. I say we because although I was the one doing the nursing – naturally! – my husband had to wake me up and change the diaper. She had to be fed every two hours for about a week before she started gaining weight.
One day my husband woke him up and I asked him what time it was.
“Six,” — said he.
“How come you are up?” – I asked thinking it was six am.
When I relate this story to friends and neighbors they inevitably recall a similar experience – in their partying days.
Anyhow, that first week me and my husband were talking about how easy it will be once we would only need to feed her every three hours, or every four hours. And once she sleeps through the night – piece of cake!
As it happens she has been sleeping through the night – for about a month now. I didn’t want to admit it to myself though. Not because I’m one of those crazy women who sleeps with her baby and lets it nurse every half an hour because she wants to make it hard for herself. I was kind of hoping that my daughter would pick different hours to sleep. Instead of sleeping through her early a.m. feeding she sleeps through the late p.m. She once slept through the early a.m., but I believe it was a fluke.
She also doesn’t like to fall asleep too early. In fact a pattern had emerged. She falls asleep 8 p.m. sharp. (On one occasion we managed to get her to sleep at 7:30, but she was up again at… 8 p.m.) Then she wakes up sometime between 2:30 and 4:00 am sleeping for up to eight hours. After that she wakes up again between 5a.m. and 7 a.m. Her first morning nap is between 8 a.m. and 10 a.m.
Naturally everyone has an advice. My aunt suggested waking her up at 10 pm. My doula said to not do anything drastic and try to gradually push her feeding and sleeping time to the desired hour. Unfortunately it doesn’t seem to work.
Given that this is not a behavioral issue I don’t want to press anything. If my daughter’s biorhythms tell her to sleep at certain hours, then she will sleep these hours.
Mothering is a one giant heartbreak. I hear it’s a one giant continuous heartbreak.
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